Once each year, the good folks at Uber release a compilation of items that their passengers left behind in the back of its cars. Let’s hear it if you support declaring that event a national holiday.

The hardest part is deciding what to eliminate. You gotta include the live turtle and the packet of Benihana garlic butter. A thong, the results of a paternity test, a WWE championship belt, and a “fake butt” (no further details about that) are also must-haves. A rat skeleton. A candle that says ‘See you in court.’ A leaf. And a “fart sensor.” Finally, one would think it’d be hard to forget … a Jeep engine. 

Of course, the usual suspects are there as well. Wallets, phones, headphones, clothes, books, all kinds of commonalities. But food is often left in the car, perhaps as an offering for the driver: a smoked pork belly, cheese, a burrito, lots of cookies, a tray of meat pie, oysters. Uber’s been listing its Lost and Found Index for eight years with 2024 being the latest. Among the finds from last year were some exceptional discoveries, such as a pound of fake blood; Britney Spears perfume; a copy of Shakespeare’s “Taming of the Shrew”; and our personal favorite, a Danny DeVito Christmas ornament.

In the current compilation, Miami has ascended to the top as the most “forgetful” city, up from sixth place last year, with Los Angeles and Atlanta following closely behind. The index also revealed the most forgetful day of the year was January 21, and the most forgetful time was between 9 and 10 pm. Mini Cooper owners proved to be the most forgetful, leaving their keys behind more often than others. Uber does maintain a Help Page with instructions on retrieving lost belongings, assuming that the owners aren’t too embarrassed to claim them.

A partial list of items left behind in an Uber:

Frontal hair toupee
Hot sauce and a breathalyzer
I left a leaf in your car that’s much needed
Two containers with spiders in them
A Beyoncé fold up fan
A tray of meat pie
Ceramic cat
Jar of oysters
A personalized blanket with a picture of me and my dog
Small rat skeleton prop
Candle that says ‘See you in court’
A fake tooth / retainer (it’s a really small plastic piece with a fake tooth in it)
Gray tub of surgical implants
Police-grade handcuffs
My live pet animal turtle
Waist beads and a burrito steamer
I left expensive blueberries that are special that I need that the store is completely out of. There’s two packages that I absolutely need.
My girlfriend’s pregnant pills
Small box containing a gnome. 
Standup paddleboard paddle
Painting from SeaWorld. It was wrapped up in a roll and I love it.
A playbill from the Spamalot show at the Kennedy Center
My robot
Benihana garlic butter
Contraceptive Plan B from Costco and a BaBylissPRO massager machine
A panic button
A spear and a furry fox tail
Taylor Swift autograph. Framed!!!!
Fart sensor
Bravo Con wristband 
A #bestdayever foam sign
3 feathers
Fake butt
Poster of Hillary Clinton
Panty liner and 1,000 bucks. That’s all I can remember
Some lotion or my thong
Meditation crystals
Undergarments, bread, pack of ham and mayo
Cardboard cut out panda
Street sign saying ‘She’s drunk’ and a picture frame
My father’s beard softener
Big sentimental carrying jug
Paternity test
WWE championship belt
Harry Potter wand engraved with name ‘Alexander’
Large sticker with a dancing cartoon cat that says ‘Spanky Fest’ on it
I might have left my garden fence in the trunk.
Jeep Liberty engine. Please call me



Source link